Calving. The deep abyss that dairy farmers dissapear into for what seems an inordinate amount of time. Approximately 8 weeks straight, every single day starting at a rather uncilivilised time, anytime you have to set your alarm clock for a time starting with either a 3 or 4 is uncilivilised. And on a good day you finish in time to watch the news, a bad day, well dont ask. I once went to Mexico on a ship with a crew from the Phillipines and they had a saying 'Every day's Monday'. And thats kind of what calving is like, only instead of a sea of crystal clear salt water to gaze out upon, I have a sea of mud, mud, mud, effluent and more mud and this sea isnt so romantic.
I'll tell you what else isnt romantic at this time of year, going for training runs at the end of 15 hour days. Nor is the thought of sitting my backside on a painfully thin bike seat at the end of the day. Actually, romance it'self or rather 'business time' also isnt so romantic during this period. That could explain why very few children of farmers are born in the months of April/May. Wendz is expecting our second addition to the family in November, I think it's November 14 but who knows, I've yet to meet a father who really remembers dates like these. Clearly, it's safe to say that nine months prior to that date, we had no cows calving. It's also safe to say that the cows in the paddock aren't pestering the father in question for names for their offspring.
Why, in the middle of the busiest time of the year, 3-4 months out from the due date is finding a sutible name for our baby a pressing concern?
Well that is just how things can be a bit different, when you have a champion little boy with autism. You see Cam doesnt handle change or surprises very well. We would rather have not discovered the sex, shes a girl! However, Cam had it set in his mind that he would be having a wee sister and would hear nothing of it being a boy. Thus we felt it was best to know so that we could prepare him in case he was getting a brother. And of course, a name is essential in this process. Wendz, being the sensible one, picks all the nice names to choose from, Isla, Lily, Alyssa and there were others but during All Black season, I dont really listen that well. Naturally, I exclude the names of ex girlfriends, girls that shunned me at some stage of my life for a Brad Pitt and all other names that sound wholesome and sweet while trying to focus on some names that come with certain stereotypes. Stereotypes that are gauranteed to get a reaction from my dear wife.
Apologies in advance if you bear a name of exotic origins, no offence is intended but I felt Porsche, Mercedes or even Candi were worthwhile mentions for no other reasons than I would get the desired reaction from Wendz. And when Mum growls at Dad, Cam laughs so of course, I keep fishing for bites from Mum to get more laughs from Cam. We,(her) have decided on a name and a week ago, if you asked Cam who was in Mummys tummy, he could tell you. But I adopted Porsche and would constantly deny the intended name, much to Mum's protest and shout out 'Porsche' Now Cam kind of thinks his sister is going to be named after a sports car or a stripper, depending on if your from Remuera or Hamilton. And in doing so, I have, to a degree, undone the good intentions of mum. So that lead me to thinking, 'whats my role'?
I broke the role of a Dad down to 5 core tasks.
1. Teach the little bugger to drive
2. Make him laugh lots.
3. Teach him how to carry a rugby ball with both hands in front of him.
4. Teach him when to play the back foot cover drive to a left arm pace bowler and...
5. Ensure he grows up with respect for Mum and does what she says.
The rest, toliet training, making his bed, cleaning up, manners, mowing the lawns, brushing his teeth, cleaning behind his ears, blah blah blah are all Mums domain. Of course, in any family where the children dont have extra burdons placed upon them, my ideas on being a father do not pay enough respect to the role. In a family like ours, well it's fair to say some things have to change.
There are a lot of courses avalible to parents of children with disabilities. You can learn different methods of teaching to a 'disabled' child, how to handle your child if they are having a bad day and how to help them adjust to different social settings. I'm pretty sure though, that there were no courses on how to handle the balance of seeing your son at the end of a long day, when your dogtired and you just want to have some fun with him without confusing simple issues. Sometimes you just learn by trial and error and hope that the errors arent to significant to fix. After all, thats what Mums are for...kidding.
As you might have guessed, training is tough at the moment, its not happening as often as it needs to and it's not being performed at the quality it needs to. Joey Yovich said to me once that sleep was overrated, it might be time to take that advice and just work harder for the next two months as I want to exceed expectations. Every day might be Monday on the farm but it's easier than having Autism.
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